There are myriad options, details and issues that go into creating the "perfect wedding": the location, the clergy (if desired), the music, attendants, attendees, family members, flowers, transportation ---all aspects that need coordination and direction. As a bride or groom to be, all you should have to do is show up, relax and prepare for what YOU have to do ---enter into the most significant and wonderful bond of your lives.

It is vital to have a professional in the destination of your choice. They will know who the best choice is for music (be it from a DJ, band, chamber ensemble or orchestra), catering, an emcee, cake designer, a florist, videographers, photographers, media & security (in some cases) and even valet parking attendants. Again, no detail can be left to chance. When you live in a distant state or country, the professional destination wedding planner is a true ally and your best opportunity for success.

In my experience, there is really no difference in the planning requirements of a GLBTI or traditional ceremony or reception. Clients, for example, enjoy having a GLBTI owned company on their team and in charge of their event due to the inherent understanding of the issues that specifically face GLBTI couples. The betrothed need to have in place a group of experts in logistics, timing, traffic patterns, service standards, direction and supervision ---the professional event planner.

If your planner has done their work, they have listened carefully to your desires, prepared their primary and back up teams and vendors, confirmed and re-confirmed and re-confirmed. By the way, they must RE-CONFIRM AGAIN! This is a pretty reliable method to prevent an unfortunate event. That having been said, we all know that sometimes things happen that are beyond control.

Be relaxed regarding the "small stuff". For example, if your runner does not match the pew decoration perfectly…the guests are undoubtedly not going to notice. More truthfully: they’re not going to CARE.

Expect that some things will REQUIRE your flexibility. Know that your event professional is there to help assure that the celery, raw silk table linen that you requested is precisely that. It’s our function to make certain that your doves are white and not brown if that was your desire. That’s why we are there to handle the small details. In the right hands, all you should have to do is relax and enjoy your incredible day.

One thing that we have learned is that it really doesn't matter which type of event is being planned. Attention to client desires, detail, responsibility, functionality, accountability and professionalism are the responsibility of your event coordinator and team leader.

FACT: Planners cost you more money than if you attempt to do it yourselves. This is undeniably true. However, I have had many a client tell me horror stories about how their Aunt or best friend have totally dropped the ball or "destroyed a wedding".

There are many amazing couples that are able to put it all together. The question I ask my eleventh-hour help seekers, for example, is "You have done a wonderful job so far. What changed your mind?"

Invariably, the reply is that they are just overwhelmed and had "no idea that it was going to get this hard". I gently smile and let them know that they're going to be fine now. "Everything is going to work out the way you wanted. Professional planners have a most wonderful, stressful and fulfilling job. It's awesome to make someone's dreams come true.

FACT: Most couples are extremely hard-working people who simply do not have the, more than 200, hours it requires to plan an average wedding with many guests. Retaining a professional is not a privilege reserved only for the well to do like it was in days gone by. The emotions and stress levels of brides and grooms-to-be are gut-wrenching enough. In contemporary life, professional wedding planners have become a strategic MUST-HAVE.

ADVICE: Talk to as many planners as you can. Feel them out. Find the one who feels "right" to you. You should expect to get an easy to interpret and detailed contract and time-line for review. Take the responsibility to read them thoroughly. Bear in mind that they have been in the business for years, in most cases, and are well equipped to perform the tasks required. Some clients find comfort in certified professionals.

You have only one first wedding. Do all that you can to assure that it will be as perfect and as memorable as possible. Once you have found a planner in whom you have trust and comfort, you can then relax and know that their ultimate goal is your satisfaction and success at all times!