But there are ways to make your relationship exciting again:

• If your partner does not realize there is a problem, that’s the first problem. But don’t tell him or her that it’s a problem and have “a talk.” Nothing’s less sexy. Instead, take the advice of the excellent Web site Lovingyou.com . Jennifer Good says, in the article “Keeping the Spice Alive in Your Marriage,” that the best way to spice things up is to start becoming spontaneous. “Keeping things a mystery avoids routine boredom." But what if you have what you think is “a no-fail routine” to romance your partner, culled from experts all over the world? You may want to rethink that. “Even though you may have all these great ideas for romancing your partner, don't let that become the routine either,” the site says. “Change how you show your affection, and you will find that your partner will become more receptive to the attention being given.” So, how can you do this? Read on for some more of Good's good ideas.

• “Slip suggestive love notes into their briefcase or day planner,” Good says. Of course, you might want to be sure he or she doesn’t have a nosy boss before doing this.

• Just because you’re married or coupled doesn’t mean you can’t go on a date. Scheduling regular “date nights,” or “date days” is really important. “Arrange a surprise meeting somewhere just to share dessert and conversation. Tell them to meet you at a certain location at a specific time. Bring the desserts and a blanket and some drinks.”

• One way to revive a relationship is to go on a vacation together (sans kids). But it’s also easy to make excuses for why you can’t: You don’t have the time. You don’t have the money. You can’t find a sitter. But Good proposed a no-excuses vacation. “Take a drive together to somewhere you've never been. Bring the camera and a journal to jot down little things you've noticed.” Surely, you have enough time, money, and a sitter who will stay with your kid while you do that.

• Another good idea is to make sure your partner knows how much you love him or her. You know you do, and he or she knows you do. But you’re busy, so maybe you don’t show it. The only problem is that, no matter how long you’ve been together, love is the kind of thing that really needs to be shown, and often, or the other partner feels neglected. So “let your partner know that you love them by taking the time to ask about their day. Be available for long talks. Encourage your partner when they want to try something new. Inspire your partner to change an old habit. You're in this together. Act like it and you just might be surprised at how fulfilling a marriage [or a partnership] can actually be,” says Good.

• The good news is that you don’t have to make a huge shift in your schedule to show your love. Good suggests you “mail them a card just to say you're thinking about them.” (Yes, you can find such a card in Hallmark.) Another thing Good suggests is that you go to bed a half-hour earlier than you normally do for cuddling. Surely, that’s worth missing Letterman for.

Until next time!