Coke, coke, coke. Far as the eyes can see, every nostril in Hollywood has a coke tale to tell. Brandy wasn’t doing it, Prison Break’s Lane Garrison did whole mound’s worth, and Tara Conner says she tried, it just didn’t fly.

One thing’s for sure—move over Nicole Richie, there’s a new posse in town.

At least for Brandy, things are looking as good as humanly possible given the circumstances. Blood tests came back and said the former pop star had no booze and no drugs in her system when she plowed her SUV into another car on the 405 last December. Get this—she wasn’t even on her cell phone. Yup, what Brandy had was your standard car wreck… well, OK, not quite standard. Someone died.

Yup, the former Moesha star is being sued for $50 million—and considering her last barely cleared 500,000 copies and got her dropped from her record label, unless Brandy’s one of those rare child stars whose mama locked up her millions in a trust somewhere, I don’t think she’s got that kind of cash lying around.

The fact that this all seems to be just a tragic accident and not some drug induced joyride is encouraging… but only time will tell if Brandy’s gonna spend the next 3-6 sittin’ up in her room or a big house somewhere.

Prison Break’s Lane Garrison is going to be far less lucky. His toxicology reports didn’t come back so clean—in fact, they looked like someone wiped down the counter at a Guns & Roses post show party. Twice the legal limit doing lines of blow and driving around town with a bunch of minors in the car… and one of them died. Three strikes, Lane. Three strikes!

Looks like the cops are going to seek a gross vehicular manslaughter charge against Lane… that carries a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison. Garrison agreed to a blood test at the scene of the crime and also admitted to buying the minors booze the evening of the wreck.

I think the most confusing thing here is—what the hell’s a 26-year-old prime time TV star doing kicking it with a bunch of teens he met at a convenience store. Well, OK, so you and I know what he was doing… but do the cops know?

And finally, Miss USA’s thirty days in rehab are up, and Tara Conner’s learned a thing or two about herself. First, she’s an alcoholic, so kudos to Donald Trump for getting that one right (and Rosie just wanted to toss the beauty queen out on her ass?). Secondly, while she craves booze, she’s an equal opportunity user meaning, yup… you guessed it. She snorted her share of that white powdery substance up her nose too.

Of course, now Tara says she’s got her problems under control and will no longer be a slave to the substance. In fact, she’s back in NYC and has moved a chaperone into her Trump Towers apartment, just to make sure she don’t do any more late night bar crawls to the Village.

Moving on to more celebs who know a thing or two about uncontrolled substances, can you believe Courtney Love honestly thought producers of American Idol were going to replace Paula Abdul with her? That’s like saying your Hyundai wasn’t running well so you traded it in for a Kia.

But Courtney swore she got the call, and now American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe insists Courtney must have been the victim of a prank. Now, color me crazy, but when big TV shows want to approach a star to make an appearance, don’t they usually go through an agent. I highly doubt Nigel was just sitting at his desk one day thinking, ‘We gotta do something about that doped up Paula’, when suddenly, lightbulb goes off and he’s scrolling through his Blackberry on a mad search for the L’s.

I will say this though… sober Courtney certainly agrees with her. She’s got a new album, she’s looking hotter than ever and, God willing, she’ll get back in front of that movie camera and turn in that career defining performance we’ve all been itching for.

I for one am anxiously waiting.

Finally, some dumb ass actually started the rumor that Sienna Miller and Hayden Christensen were actually fucking on the set of their new movie Factory Girl. Now I don’t mean retiring to the trailer for a quick roll in the hay. I mean actually fucking during their on-screen sex scenes.

First off, anyone who works in Hollywood knows a dozen or so suits are constantly sitting around during Hollywood sex scenes, so if Sienna and Hayden really did do the deed, we’d be branding them exhibitionists, and we all know neither one of them are that interesting. Plus, jury’s still out on whether Hayden even likes chicks, and since I’m hoping and praying he plays for our team, I refuse to believe he’d ever stick it anywhere near Sienna.

Since all this sex talk has elevated, have any of you taken a moment to watch Courteney Cox’s new show Dirt. It’s scathing, filthy and all around brilliant, and the best thing about it (at least for the ladies) is Carly Pope as lesbian drug dealer to the stars Garbo. Now I know lesbian sex shouldn’t typically involve a heroin needle, but there’s something about the way Carly sticks the veins of her girlfriends that makes it so Gia. Most of you will remember Carly from the WB’s Popular… well she’s all grown up here.

Now that we’ve finished that task, I’m off to start scoping the news for next week’s gossip. Thanks for swinging by, and remember—stop and smell the gossip!

Until next time!