Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens…these are a few of my favorite things.

Snow is on the mountaintops; the streets are packed with eager folks scrambling to get to the mall before closing; and I am actually getting paid to sit here and recount my favorite moments in celebrity gossip this year.

It was a doozie, complete with celebutantes passing out in bars, at hotels… on the freeway. Some random man admitted to killing Jon Benet, then we find out he was clear across the country the day she died. Mark Foley went on a cyber chat spree with practically every teenager in the continental 48, then lied about it. It’s been a doozie of a year, and because so much drama’s gone down, we thought it best to remind everyone of the penultimate moments that defined 2006.

Just to make it clear, we’re talking funny shit. I’m not talking the tabloids outing Lance Bass or Anna Nicole’s son dying. Those were major moments to be certain, but not exactly what I mean by side splitting, 'did that actually happen' moments?

That said, sit back, relax and enjoy!

10. This Just In: Oprah and Gayle—Not Gay!

“Yesterday I woke up in bed with Oprah... and rolled over and said hi to Gayle.”

Yeah, Jamie Foxx pretty much summed up number ten on our list with that joke to a couple of reporters. For the last time, Oprah and Gayle King are not a gay couple—and to prove it, they issued a press release saying as much… right before they went on a cross country road trip in which some lady checking them into a teepee motor lodge asked if they wanted to use one registration card or two.

This is a woman who didn’t ever recognize the two, and even she picked up on something more going on than a bond between two women. The rest of their road trip was a hoot and a half—anyone who ever wondered if Oprah’s lost touch with her roots didn’t see the episode in which she gets road rage.

Whether Oprah’s sharing her bed with Steadman, Gayle, her dogs, the Rabbit... I don’t know and I frankly don’t care. I just love that after 20 years, America’s still convinced she’s a lesbian.

9. Daddy's Dyin'... Why Ain't Tori in the Will?

If anyone wondered how much truth there was to the rumor that Tori had been given the shaft in daddy Aaron Spelling’s will, case in point—people who inherit buckets of money from a billionaire don’t typically invite folks over to their Studio City home for an overpriced garage sale in which the words “charitable donation” are nowhere to be found.

Yes, it seems like the word that brother Randy got millions while Tori got thousands might be true—guess you shouldn’t go mouthing off to the tabloids about mommy having an affair. And something tells me So Notorious, her brief but oh so fulfilling reality/comedy hybrid didn’t help matters… Loni Anderson is not the go to girl when you want to flatter mummy.

Read this: Tori sold half used shampoo bottles for a dollar… not the mark of a woman who’s rolling in it. We still love… no… ADORE HER! But we can’t help but think this whole Bed & Breakfast idea she and her hubby conjured up might not come off a whole lot better!

8. Naomi Campbell finally slapped the wrong bitch

Her drug councilor… wrong bitch, because not only did they arrest her outside her London home, but for the first time, the victim showed up at the police station while she was still bleeding. Naomi’s people called it a “mistake.”

The same mistake, apparently, that Campbell made when she allegedly threatened to throw her assistant from a moving car in 1998; or when she allegedly attacked her maid last year with a mobile phone; or when she allegedly left a member of her staff stranded in Africa with no passport. In fact, for those of you keeping count, this is the ninth reported assault in eight years.

Every morning I drive to work down Sunset Boulevard and see the twenty story tall photo of Naomi on the side of the Hyatt, I think to myself—‘She's hot, but she’ll cut you.' Now, supposedly, Naomi is ready to set the record straight by appearing on Oprah next year. Fifty bucks says Oprah sits perched in her chair with a shank under her shirt.

7. George Michael popped out of a bush with a man… and passed out in his car… twice!

Passing out in your car under the influence of drugs is bad… especially when you’re behind the wheel. Doing it twice… at the same intersection… when you’re a celebrity… pathetic!

The first time we found George Michael passed out in his luxury car in London, he said it was his own stupid fault, that he had no one to blame but himself and he was seeking help. The second time, he tried to brush it under the bush.

Funny we should say bush, because drug induced stupors aren’t the only fodder that landed George in the headlines this year. Just when we thought the former Wham! Frontman couldn’t fall any further, he did… emerging from the bushes in one of London’s most popular hookup spots with a much older man who was said to be ‘pleasuring’ Mr. Michael.

When confronted about it, George made some off handed comment about the fact that giving his partner two million pounds for Xmas entitled him to some nookie on the side. That’s fine George, but in a park? That’s like Britney Spears trashy.

6. Barbra’s Spoken: Shut the Fuck Up!

Who knew ‘Shut the Fuck Up’ had the power to become a gay mantra?

When a man at a Barbra Streisand concert at Madison Square Garden got pissed at the high priced diva for offering up political commentary instead of segueing from “Evergreen” into “The Way We Were”, he didn’t just tell the people around him… he told the whole damn arena, including Barbra.

It started with hecking. Then it turned into screaming. And finally, the normally reserved Babs uttered the worlds that will go down in history is her most quotable moment: “Shut the fuck up!”

Days later, some ingenious young fella had turned it into a dance mix, and within 24 hour, 65,000 people had downloaded it from MySpace. The fact that someone pelted Babs with ice at a Florida stop or that the now infamous words were screamed in front of Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey didn’t seem to matter. Foul mouthed Babs further cemented her status as a gay icon with just four short words.

Happy holidays and all that jazz and please, join us next week for the year’s top five. Little hint—does the name Star Jones ring any bells?

Until next time!