Just remember, a recently cuckolded Reese rocked the red carpet at the Globes and Screen Actors’ Guild Awards, likely making Ryan wish he’d kept the little wandering General in it’s place. For misery that loves company just think of Britney, K-fed, Cameron, Justin, Kylie Minogue and her man Olivier, Jennifer, Vince, Pam and Kid Rock all gagging on their “I’m yours” and "Be mine" Conversation Hearts. After all, what’s heartbreak if you can’t splash it on the tabloid covers?

This week the cast of the lesbian themed Gray Matters, starring the so f’in cute Heather Graham (above left) as a latent girl-next-door lesbian, has been shaking up nerdy boy journalists screenings, junkets and the Santa Barbara Film Fest. Rollergirl and Austin Powers American Woman Heather, dances “Cheek to Cheek “ with Tom Cavanagh, who plays her brother, and Bridgit Moynahan who’s the object of her burgeoning lust, in this homage to 40’s musicals.

But the real rub is in the ending. Spoiler on the way…Rachel Shelley, The L Word’s fave, poor little rich girl, Helena, in a casting stretch, plays a hard-assed lesbian exec who falls for the clumsy and charming Gray (Graham). First-time director Sue Kramer, who wrote the film with her lesbian sister in mind, steers clear of the ostensible “money shot,” which would be Heather and Rachel licking each other from cheek to cheek. It’s a sweet, romantic film after all.

At a Los Angeles press junket, Hottie Heather teased a table of nerdy, horny reporters, saying that a triple XXX, hard-core sex scene between she and the British bombshell, ended up on the cutting room floor. Ever the lesbian gals’ best girl, Rachel said in an interview that she wanted the role because she got to play smitten with Heather. Mmmm. Rollergirl often inspires naughtier sentiments than smitten, but it’s still cute as pie for Rachel to admit that. Now if she’d only just give a little something to the people and engage in a little real-life Sapphic adventure.

Meanwhile, film fest darling, Maria Maggenti’s Puccini for Beginners, which pits Elizabeth Reaser—who’s reminiscent of a baby Julia Roberts— in a love triangle with Gretchen Mol and Justin Kirk, is testing the waters on the big screen.

Justin Kirk and Elizabeth Reaser

Power to Power-Up and But I’m a Cheerleader director Jamie Babbitt. Her opus the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, featuring lesbian luminaries Guin Turner and Daniela Sea, among a host of others, crosses the pond to the Berlin Film Festival this week. Here’s hoping those itty bitty titty’s beat the bras off the competition.

Hollywood royalty Isabella Rossellini joined the 30 Rock cast to pine over Alec Baldwin as his obsessed ex-wife, while Tina Fey posed as his date for a black tie event. In a jealous rage, Rossellini went ballistic on Fey and the classic beauty and the quirky-but completely smokin’ writer, battled it out, clawing at each other like two cats in a cage.

McPheever turned up on Ugly Betty. That’s right, American Idol’s favorite stage-humping “Over the Rainbow” singer Katharine McPhee—a rumored Scientologist, somebody save her if it’s true—hit fashion week on Ugly Betty playing herself. Little America Ferarra, who’s cleaning up at awards’ shows, gets the McPheever when she spies the chestnut-haired chanteuse. Just a note…if this column ceases to exist over the next few weeks, It could be L. Ron Hubbard’s minions fitting me for cement pumps. I’m not paranoid though. The tin foil is securely attached to my pseudo- L Word coiffure.

While McPheever spreads to fashion week on the top-rated show, Kelly Clarkson has recently butched it up and signed a big deal as a NASCAR spokesperson. How trailer-trashy, grease under the fingernails, in a pair of coveralls sexy of her.

Debs super-spy bad girl Jordana Brewster’s stepping into Angelina’s shoes and it’s not because Angie left them under Jordana’s bed. In the TV pilot for Mr. and Mrs. Smith-- based on the anti-domesticity co-ed assassin film that spawned Brangelina and left Jennifer Anniston eating pizza and drinking wine alone in Malibu—Jordana’s going to kick some Mr. Smith ass.

There’s no word yet on who that might be. How about a little Ms. and Ms. Smith? Jordana and say, Scarlett Johansson as lesbian assassins hiding knives in the broiler and sex toys in the dishwasher?

What’s a Blender without mentioning the foremost news outlet of our time? Those crazy kids at The View… Queen of the Walk Barbara Walters held up Rudy Giuliani and his wife, in a deep kiss in a Harper’s “Bizarre” spread and asked if it was an appropriate pic to help announce his run for the Presidency. Little conservative Elisabeth Hasselback seems to have engaged in a little art history or film studies, as she pointed out that the wife is the top in the picture, making Rudy seem weaker or—like the bottom.

Rosie was chomping at the bit to get a joke in about who tops who but Barbara or Joy wouldn’t shut up about something much less titillating and pervy. Maybe Lis has invented a new game for imagining what Republicans do on their time off. I’m thinking Dick Cheney, dog collar and a ball gag and Lynn sporting Condi Rice style, black dominatrix boots.

Rosie O brought up Snickers’ arguably homophobic Superbowl commercial with two big manly men chomping either sides of a Snickers ala the spaghetti strand in Lady and the Tramp. The implication that two men kissing is repugnant pervades the commercial and GLAAD’s in a bit of a tizzy over it. Trying to keep her nose a little clean after all of her feuds, Rosie said that sometimes she’s tired of playing the “gay police.” Maybe if she had the right outfit, she’d enjoy playing gay policewoman a little better. Can’t blame her though. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t.

Kudos to Prince for flipping off the FCC with his half-time show, which featured a filthy rendition of "Purple Rain" in which the pop guru ostensibly jacked off his guitar in silhouette—a move that’s beyond reproach, since he was indeed playing some fierce licks. The kicker though, was the climactic shooting fireworks that followed Prince’s musical masturbation, and the legions of big-boy football fans applauding and cheering him on.

Until next time!